As I reflected on Father’s Day, I am grateful for my father and all the fathers I have had in my life who have helped shaped me. Stephen Kendrick outlines seven roles that a father plays in the life of his family: provider, protector, leader, teacher, helper, encourager, and friend. I would add, a guide, a spiritual mentor, and a boundary maker. When a man is these things to his children he is a father. Many men are biological dads but are not fathers, and many fathers are not biological dads to their children. A father shows up and keeps showing up for their children. It is not a matter of always being perfect because no one is, it is a matter of loving consistency. I don’t need to imagine, I know that our world would be a different place if men showed up consistently for their children as providers, protectors, leaders, teachers, helpers, encouragers, friends, guides, spiritual mentors, and boundary makers. I know many fathers who fit this description of a father. My father in many ways displayed these characteristics toward me, I have had other men in my life who have helped shaped me in many of these areas and for each one I am truly grateful.
Fathers, while sometimes our children may give us some grey hairs, my challenge to you is to be like the father in the parable Jesus told of the Prodigal Son; So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. (Luke 15:20-24) While our children may go off on their journey, our homes and hearts should be open to them. When prodigals return, welcome them. There are always consequences for actions, but forgiveness should be freely given and our children welcomed home.
In closing a word as a man to men. Just because you sired a child does not make you a father. As I look at the world today I see generations who have grown up and are growing up fatherless. Absent or abusive dads in society, who have not taken their responsibility for fatherhood seriously and it shows in children’s and adults’ lives. A child is not just a mother’s responsibility, he or she is a father’s responsibility too. There is a reason that there is only one Father’s Day a year, the other three hundred and sixty-four days are there for your children. To the fathers out there who show up consistently for their children as providers, protectors, leaders, teachers, helpers, encouragers, friends, guides, spiritual mentors, and boundary makers, I salute you. To the males out there who have sired children and have neglected their responsibilities, it is not too late, seek forgiveness, make restitution, do better, make the changes, and become a father!
I close with this final thought by Richelle Goodrich, “A great father is one whose children look up to him rather than away from him.” Be that kind of father.
Andrew Christie 